I didn’t know it then, but when I had left home that morning, it was the last time I would see my children.

My name is Armn, and I’m from Iran. I grew up in a religious household, so prayer became very important to me. But from quite early on, I had doubts about Islam. I believed in an omnipotent God, and that was a comfort to me, but some of the religion’s ways and teachings as I experienced them were not right for me.

My conversion to Christianity took a lot of thought, but once I had made the decision it was final. There are many Christians in Iran, but they do not reveal themselves, and often hide their faith.

I became more active, and I began distributing Bibles from “pop-up” churches. So when the authorities came to my house they found the Bibles; I had no defence, as the evidence was right there.

It made things worse that I am Kurdish, part of the minority population in Iran. I had an education and a decent job, a job I loved. I was a good popular teacher, and I loved my students, but you are often viewed with suspicion by the authorities.

When the men came to the house that morning, I was in shock and was didn’t know what to do. I just rode my bike around for hours, but there was nowhere I could go. I’d been a schoolteacher in Iran for more than 20 years it was all I knew.

I finally called my older brother, and he told me not to go home. If I’d been caught I would have been arrested, sent to prison and then hanged as a preacher of Christianity. I think it was at this point I realised I would not see my children again. I couldn’t stop the tears, and even now it is so painful to think about.

My brother said I must go to a different city for a few nights, and then to the border with Turkey. At the border it is easy to buy a fake passport, and I found an agent (a smuggler) who got me over the border and into Istanbul. I stayed in a small house for eight days while they got me a European passport. Then one night he said, “You will leave tomorrow at midnight. Ask no questions, do not talk to me or about me.”

My plane landed in another European country, I do not know which one. I was arrested at the customs and put in detention – the hand cuffs were so tight I still have the marks they left. I’d always been a good citizen and never broken any laws, so I was so scared all the time, and I just kept saying “I am only a teacher”. There were no interpreters so I did not know what was going to happen to me. I was sure I would be deported. But the next day I was taken to a new place and made to sign papers and told I must leave the country. They gave me my bags, but not the passport.

Within days the smuggler got back in touch – they had been watching, and had known this would happen. I then spent 20 days in various places and cars moving around. My phone was taken from me. Finally the smuggler said, “Your flight is tomorrow night”. The smuggler gave me my new passport, and we got on the plane. The agent came with me but I wasn’t allowed to talk to him. I was told I had to pretend to be asleep the whole flight. He took my passport off me before we were seated.

When we landed I realised I was in the UK. There was a long queue to get through passport control. I was so scared I went to the back of the queue three times before I dared go through. The Border agent had a headscarf on so I knew she was Muslim – I thought when she saw me, she would shout, “Here he is! Arrest him!”

She asked me for my passport.

I said I didn’t have one.

She did not believe me, but then understood. She said I must report to a police station. I did that, and they took me to a building where I claimed asylum. I had my screening interview, and they took me to a hotel. And that’s where I am now.

I am just happy to be alive. I spoke to my wife for the first time when I got to the hotel. But there was no talking, just crying, we were so happy to all be alive. I never expected to have to leave but I thought the UK was the safest place in the world. That was until I heard about the Rwanda plan.

I have not been sent a letter saying I will be sent to Rwanda, but I am still terrified in case they do try to send me. The UK is the only place I am safe. The Iranian authorities can’t reach me here. Even in Germany they have killed people. I know they could get to me easily in Rwanda, so it isn’t safe at all. The fear of being sent there means I can’t eat, I am not sleeping, I have horrible nightmares when I do sleep. My mental health is suffering I am so scared and anxious all the time.

Refugees are scared of everything, after what we have been through it is hard to trust anyone. The world is a scary place for those who have nothing. I don’t know what I would do if I was sent there. It’s not something I can even think of.

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When Zoran was a young boy growing up in Iran, his mum and dad were murdered by the government for their political views. His grandfather raised him in a small, remote village where Zoran got no schooling. Bring Kurdish, Zoran was part of a persecuted minority with little chance of a job.

His parents’ deaths marked the start of years of unhappiness and depression for Zoran, and being isolated and persecuted in the village only made things worse. He knew he had to escape.

Aged just 16 he left home to search for a safe future with the chance of employment, and walked to Turkey with a friend. They smuggled themselves into a fruit lorry, and after three days’ travel they emerged in a town in southern England.

Zoran claimed asylum on the grounds of his Kurdish ethnicity, his political view, and his parents having been murdered for their politics. He also applied on health grounds, citing PTSD and depression caused by his parents’ deaths and his journey to the UK.
He was put into the care of a local authority and given a social worker, but his asylum claim was refused.

Fortunately he was given discretionary leave to remain in the UK as he was under 18; good news, but just imagine the fear and uncertainty this brought to someone who was still only a child.

Having nothing to go back to in Iran, Zoran tried hard to stay in the UK, where he had found safety. For several years he endured a series of claims, appeals and rejections. In 2017 his lawyer told him nothing else could be done.

But then he met Aiden, a Care4Calais volunteer with our Access Team. And Aiden refused to give up.

At first Aiden helped Zoran to lodge further claims, but these were rejected, and things took a downward turn. Zoran’s support funding was withdrawn, and he ended up sleeping in a disused shop, and scouring for food. He was desperate for money and support, and this took him down a path that included associations with local petty delinquents.

In 2018 he was given a small package to “look after.” When police raided a gathering of people Zoran was among, everybody in the gathering was taken into custody and Zoran’s package turned out to contain a very small amount of an illegal substance. Zoran was charged with possession of drugs.
Zoran called Aiden to collect him from the police station at 5am that morning. Aiden found him a criminal defence lawyer willing to work on legal aid, and when Zoran’s case went to Court, he was placed on probation.

The impact of the drugs conviction on the asylum claim now became a huge worry.
Zoran, still homeless, developed several serious mental health issues, and Mind and the local authority mental health team sorted out emergency housing and support for him.
To many people it might have been a lost cause, but not to Aiden.

Somehow, working with incredible dedication, he found another law firm willing to look at Zoran’s case. And the new firm saw a ray of hope.

Zoran’s case had been turned down partly because the Home Office argued that Zoran’s political views and any activity in Iran would be unknown to the Iranian authorities. However, the new firm spotted that Zoran had been involved in political activity in the UK since he arrived here.

Pictures of Zoran protesting outside the Iranian embassy were found on a friend’s social media, and the law firm argued that these pictures were in the public domain, so could easily be seen by the Iranian authorities. A judicial review was lodged, and fingers crossed.

After a few weeks, the Home Office said that if the application for a judicial review was withdrawn, they would reconsider Zoran’s application. Zoran and his lawyer accepted, and a few months later, he was granted leave to remain for five years.

It was nine years since he left his village. The relief was incredible. This man had grown from a boy into man while he struggled to make a future for himself. Now someone had at last listened to him, he could begin the rest of his life.

Around the same time his probation came to an end, and he became eligible for Housing Benefit and Universal Credit. Eventually, Zoran was assessed as eligible for UC and allocated housing paid for by Housing Benefit.

Towards the end of that year, a British friend of Zoran took him to the Kurdistan Region of Iraq. He has become engaged to a woman there, and is now planning to apply for permission to bring his soon-to-be wife to the UK.

You can only shudder to think what would have become of Zoran without Care4Calais. He would most likely have been left on the streets to become one of the statistics in Britain’s prison system, or he would have been removed from the UK. It took two years of fighting, and endless hours of hard work by Aiden to find lawyers who could take legal aid – and huge amounts of advice and knowledge from others in the Care4Calais team as Aiden liaised with Zoran’s probation officer, social worker and GP, the council, the DWP and the Red Cross.

We were so pleased that Zoran was finally listened to, and that the Home Office realised he did deserve our help. Aiden says it feels amazing to have helped.

“It’s one of the most satisfying things I’ve done with Care4Calais. Zoran is now starting his new life and we have remained friends. In fact he now interprets for Care4Calais volunteers helping recently arrived asylum seekers.

“He’s about the same age as my youngest daughter, and he often tells people I’m his dad. He’s been through an ordeal he did not deserve and to watch him come out the other side and grow is amazing. I can say, ‘we did that’; we helped with that, and it made a difference.”

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‘I was terrified and my parents were crying’, he said, describing the moment he knew he had to get out of Iran. ‘I just needed to leave – it didn’t matter where. My mum and dad were so sad.’ He was forced out of his own country and separated from his family. He escaped to Turkey and found other Kurdish people there. Since then, he has slowly made his way to Northern France, but life is far from easy.

M said, half-jokingly, that Kurdish mothers are ’emotional and protective’. With her only child forced to leave home, this isn’t surprising. But joking aside, I saw the pain on M’s face when he told me he can no longer call her. On video calls, he said his mum can’t stop crying. M now wants to seek asylum in the UK and hopes his parents could then join him there.

Hundreds of refugees like M can’t go home and are stuck in Calais. On one hand, aggressive French police make the lives of refugees more difficult by the day. On the other, the British government is increasingly hostile to refugees. M, and many others like him, just need a safe place to call home.

Speaking with young men like M is a reminder of why it’s so important Care4Calais is here to provide direct aid and solidarity. ‘This is a good thing what you’re doing… You’re good people. People don’t help each other enough in Iran’, M told me.

We urgently need more people to help here in Calais.

–  Matt, Operations Coordinator

To volunteer please email clare@care4calais.org

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